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超搞笑评价:你们到底和迪士尼什么仇什么怨?!

2019-05-11 13:51:33



如果有人说世界上有一个地方可以让人忘记年龄,回归孩子气,他可能是认真的哦。迪士尼主题乐园可谓是一个如梦如幻的童话王国,能给人们带来无穷的欢乐。不过网友们对迪士尼的吐槽也是不少,永远爆满的园区、贵得离谱的食物,而且还不止这么简单……小译发现超多搞笑的迪士尼一星评价,快一起来看看吧!


Long?lines?and?massive?crowds?are?commoncomplaints?about?Disneyland?in?Californiaand?Disney?World?in?Florida.?But?according?toridiculous?one-star?reviews?on?Yelp,?there?arelots?of?other?things?to?gripe?about?too.

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通常,人们在加州或者佛罗里达的迪士尼游玩时,抱怨都集中在无穷无尽的排队和爆挤的人群上。但如果你看了Yelp网站(美国版大众点评)上的搞笑一星评论,你会发现要吐槽的内容绝不止这些。

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Like?getting?the?cold?shoulder?from?DarthVader.?Or?being?forced?to?hang?out?withGoofy?instead?of?Mickey.?Or?dealing?with?low-quality?toilet?paper.

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比如说,受到了达斯·维达(《星球大战》中的“黑武士”)的冷遇;或者想和米奇一起玩,但是却只有高飞理你;又或者是质量堪忧的卫生纸。

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Other?reviews?are?so?all?over?the?place,?it'shard?to?know?exactly?what's?beingcomplained?about...which?somehow?makesthem?even?funnier.

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还有一些评论神游在外,让人很难看懂到底在抱怨些什么……不过这在某种程度上更搞笑了!

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In?any?case,?it's?hilarious?to?read?people?goon?tirades?about?the?supposedly?HappiestPlaces?on?Earth.?Here,?we've?gathered?someof?the?most?entertaining.?

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不管怎样,阅读人们对“地球上最幸福的地方”进行长篇大论的吐槽,还是挺有意思的~以下,我们收集了一些最最最最有趣的评论。赶紧来看看~

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Too?Expensive?If?You?Have?The?Munchies

吃的也太贵了叭!

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"Way?overpriced.?Charge?you?$8?for?a?burger?youcan?get?at?McDonald's?for?$1.?Smoking?is?legalin?California?yet?I?got?kicked?out?with?no?refund." —?Don?E

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“定价疯了。汉堡在麦当劳卖1刀,这儿却卖8刀!抽烟在加州完全合法,在这儿竟然被赶了出来,而且不退门票钱!” —?Don?E

Listen,?just?because?it's?legal?in?the?state?doesn'tmean?it's?allowed?at?The?Magic?Kingdom?—?theonly?high?Disney?wants?you?to?experience?is?onits?roller?coasters.

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哈哈哈,吸烟在美国是合法的,但是并不意味着在魔法王国也可以这么做——迪士尼只希望你坐过山车坐到爽,而不是抽烟抽到爽。

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This?review?is?also?kind?of?surprising.?Wouldn'tyou?think?that?if?you?were?smoking,?you'd?be?alittle?more?chill?about?your?experience?no?matterthe?outcome?

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这个评价倒也是挺出人意料的。这位顾客,你不觉得,既然你抽了这么多烟,心情不应该更平静一点嘛?

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The?Dark?Lord?Has?a?‘Tude

冷酷无情的黑魔王

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"Tried?taking?a?pic?with?Vader.?He?did?jot?[sic]?give?me?a?good?experience.?He?said?he?doesn'twanna?see?me?again."?—?Joesh?C

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“我想和黑魔王合影,但他莫给我好脸色。他说他不想再见到我,我???” —?Joesh?C

Disney?character?actors?are?trained?to?stay?incharacter?no?matter?what?happens.?It's?sort?ofinevitable,?then,?that?a?professional?completelyimmersed?in?the?Dark?Side?of?the?Force?might?notbe?the?bubbliest?individual?in?the?park.

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迪士尼的人偶演员都受过专业训练,无论发生什么,都要保持角色形象。这条规定是无法改变的,那么,作为一个完全沉浸在原力黑暗面的角色扮演者,他不太可能是公园里最热情的人。

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Wouldn't?it?be?more?disconcerting?if?Darth?Vaderhad?been?extremely?friendly?

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如果达斯·维达变得非常友善,这不是更让人发毛吗?

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Get?it?Together,?Adults

成熟一点,大人们

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"This?is?a?great?place?for?adults?to?mow?downyour?little?ones.?I?was?ashamed?to?be?an?adult.?It's?amazing?how?pathetic?adults?act?for?a?ride.?Sorry?kids,?you?need?to?be?a?bit?bigger?to?defendyourselves?here.?Working?in?the?Insuranceindustry,?I'm?use?to?adults?behaving?like?kids?butthis?by?far?exceeded?my?already?lowexpectations."?—?Marlin?R

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“迪士尼真是一个大人摧残孩子的地方。作为一个成年人,我深感羞愧。我没想到为了坐一次过山车,大人们能做出这么可悲的行为。抱歉了,孩子们,你们需要长得再大一点,才能在这里保护自己。我从事保险业,已经习惯了幼稚的大人,但这已经突破了我的底线了!” —?Marlin?R

Anyone?who's?experienced?a?busy?Disney?themepark?knows?that?it?can?be?insanely?overcrowded,?and?it's?common?for?reviewers?to?bemoan?thenumber?of?small?children?running?about.?Lesscommon?are?complaints,?like?this?one,?about?thenumber?of?adults?acting?like?children.

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任何去过迪士尼的人都亲身经历了“人满为患”的真实意义,而且抱怨熊孩子“遍地走”的评论层出不穷。然而这种抱怨“熊大人”的评论可不多见。

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I?guess?the?park?really?does?bring?out?the?kid?inus.

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我想,这个乐园确实能把大人一键还原为小孩模式叭!

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We?All?Scream?Over?Ice?Cream

冰淇淋使我不快乐

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"This?establishment?has?me?pay?for?a?cone?so?Ican?get?ice?cream?and?then?the?ice?creammachine?just?ends?up?never?working?I?would?notrecommend?this?place?it?is?absolutely?horrible." —?Logan?F

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“买门票时买了一张冰淇淋券,结果发现冰淇淋机一直没开。我绝对不会推荐迪士尼,超可怕的。” —?Logan?F

Instead?of?buying?an?expensive?Disney?ticket?toeat?ice?cream,?maybe?just...go?to?an?ice?creamshop?instead??But?hey,?you?have?to?respect?thisreviewer's?passion?for?a?good?scoop.

额,要是想吃冰淇淋的话,或许可以考虑一下……甜品店?去迪士尼只为吃冰淇淋……好吧,这位甜筒资深爱好者,你获得了我们的瑞斯拜(respect)!佩服!

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Rude?Mickey

粗鲁的米奇

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"Overrated.?Overpriced.?Mickey?ignored?me.?Ionly?got?to?hang?with?goofy.?I've?been?hereseveral?times.?Never?had?a?good?experience." —?David?S

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“迪士尼哪里来的这么多好评?又贵,米奇又不理我,我只能和高飞互动。来过好几次了,没有一次好体验。” —?David?S

Since?this?reviewer?didn't?say?exactly?whathappened?with?Mickey,?we?can?only?speculate.?But?we?do?kind?of?get?it:?When?you're?the?mostfamous?mouse?in?the?world,?it's?easy?to?cop?anattitude.

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由于这位评论者没有具体说明米奇到底是怎么对待他的,所以我们只能胡乱猜测了。但也可以理解:如果我是世界上最有名的老鼠,我可能也会有架子。

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Either?way,?the?consolation?of?hanging?withGoofy?must?have?been?awful.?That?guy'sannoying.

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不管怎么样,和高飞一起玩儿一定很可怕。那家伙挺烦人的。

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A?(Parking)?Lot?to?Complaint?About

吐槽停车场

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"You?should?be?able?to?walk?to?the?parkingstructure!?It's?very?convoluted?to?get?there?onfoot.?They?closed?the?regular?pathway!?Prisoneronce?again!?DUMB,?what?a?waste!!!?PARKING?ISA?JOKE!?There?is?at?least?15?people?juststanding?around?NOT?HELPING!??That's?what?upay?$20?bucks?for!" —?Marie?S

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“去停车场怎么这么艰难!走到那里头都大了。他们把正常通道关了!简直成了囚犯!天哪,为什么这么做!!!停车就是一个笑话!至少有15名员工只是站在那里,啥也不干! 20刀就换来这样的停车服务!” —?Marie?S

This?spirited?review?makes?two?thingsabundantly?clear:?One,?the?parking?lot?is?too?farfrom?the?park?itself.?And?two,?if?you're?going?toleave?a?one-star?review,?don't?forget?to?use?lots?ofcapitalization?and?exclamation?points.?Otherwise,?HOW?WILL?PEOPLE?GET?YOUR?POINT?!!

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从这一情绪激动的评论中,我们可以学到两件事情:一,停车场离乐园太远;二,如果你要一星评论,不要忘记使用大写、加粗和感叹号!!!否则,人们怎么能明白你想表达什么?!!

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Toilet?Paper?Not?up?to?Standards

卫生纸质量堪忧

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"It's?always?packed

I?hate?the?toilet?paper

Lines?way?toooooooo?long?even?on?theweekdays."

—?MariUghh?H

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“洗手间总是很挤
我讨厌里面的卫生纸
即使在工作日,厕所的队伍也巨巨巨巨长。”
—?MariUghh?H

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Plenty?of?people?would?agree?with?the?first?andthird?parts?of?this?almost?poetic?complaint.?It?canbe?frustrating?when?the?park?becomes?floodedwith?people?and?you?have?to?wait?in?a?ridiculouslylong?line?for?every?park?amenity.

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这真是一首好诗啊。一定会有很多人同意这首小诗的第一句和第三句。迪士尼里的游客摩肩擦踵,要想上个厕所比登天还难,确实挺让人绝望的。

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But?to?sandwich?in?a?complaint?about?the?toiletpaper?seems?like?a?low?blow?and,?perhaps,?thereal?reason?for?the?one-star?review.

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中间这句对卫生纸的抱怨似乎无关痛痒,不过,也许这才是成为一星评论的真正原因。

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Love?My?Girlfriend,?Hate?Disney

爱我女票,恨迪士尼

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"First?of?all...?I'm?writing?this?on?my?gf?yelpaccount?and?second?of?all...?Phuck?Disneyland...?we?showed?up,?got?the?park?hopper...?to?find?outthat?half?of?California?adventures?was?closed...?people?don't?pay?to?view?the?crap?plastic?settings(well?some?of?us?dont)...?part?of?the?costs?is?toactually?be?able?to?board?the?rides?right? [armscrossed]...?only?reason?why?I?come?is?becausemy?gf?is?the?princess?of?Montebello?and?she?getswhat?she?wants?...?Love?you?babe,?still?hateDisney?though."?—?Jennifer?M

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“首先,这是我女票的?Yelp?账户,然后我想说的是,迪士尼太烂了!!!我们到这里,买完套票才发现游乐园里一半的设施都不开???人们来这可不是为了看塑料人的好吧(不过好像是有这样的人)……反正票价的一部分就必须包括过山车![双臂交叉] 我来这里唯一的原因就是我女票,我的小公举,她想要什么我都满足她。我爱你,宝贝儿,但是我还是讨厌迪士尼。” —?Jennifer?M

One?star?for?Disney.?Five?stars?for?girlfriend.

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迪士尼一星。女朋友五星。确定这是在吐槽,不是在秀恩爱?

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Self-Realization

自我认识

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"To?[sic]?many?people?and?everything?isoverpriced.?Or?maybe?I?just?hate?people?and?I'mreally?poor!" —?Emmanuel?F

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“人忒多了,而且啥啥都贵。或许我只是不喜欢这么多人,而且我真的很穷罢了!” —?Emmanuel?F

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If?this?short?review?had?stopped?at?the?firstsentence,?it?would?have?been?nothing?remarkable;?long?lines?and?costliness?are?the?two?biggestcomplaints?about?the?park.

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如果这个简短的评论在第一句戛然而止,那没什么特别的;长龙大队和抢钱一样的价格是迪士尼被吐槽最多的两点。

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It's?the?fact?that?this?person?took?the?time?towonder?about?their?own?problems?that?makes?thereview?so?delightful.

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不过这位朋友在评论里进行了一番自我审视,实在是太好笑了。

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Don't?worry?Emmanuel?—?Disney?parks?make?lotsof?visitors?feel?cranky?and?poor.

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Emmanuel,不要担心,来迪士尼的很多游客都觉得自己既暴躁又贫穷。

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If?Only?There?Were?Free?Refills

为啥没有续杯

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"I?absolutely?love?Disneyland.?I?don't?mindcrowds?and?can?overlook?a?lot?of?the?prices?andRULES.?I?am?quite?upset?at?the?no?drink?refillpolicy.?Give?us?a?break.?It's?really?hot.?We?standin?heat?and?lines.?Pay?for?overpriced?andundersized?drinks.?NO?REFILLS?REALLYCHEAPENS?THE?EXPERIENCE." —?Sid?R

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“我真的超爱迪士尼乐园。我并不介意人多,也不介意离谱的价格和变态的规则。但是这里竟然不能续杯,我很生气。行行好吧迪士尼。我们在烈日下排这么长的队,真的热死了!饮料那么贵,而且几口就喝没了啊喂!不能续杯真的显得你们很掉价,哼。” —?Sid?R

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Even?though?this?person?is?a?big?fan?of?the?parkand?not?bothered?by?many?of?the?elements?thatannoy?other?people,?the?fact?that?there?are?nofree?refills?is?enough?to?turn?them?into?a?one-starreviewer.?That's?some?serious?commitment?tohydration.

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虽然这是一位耐受度极高的死忠粉,但是饮料没有续杯竟然使她走上打一星的道路。看来脱水真的很可怕。

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I'll?Explain?Later

一会儿再解释

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"I?love?Disneyland?but?I?don't?love?the?employees.?This?place?needs?better?management.?I'm?tootired?to?explain?myself?because?I?just?walked?5?miles?to?my?car." —?Micah?H

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“我爱迪士尼,但我讨厌他家的员工。这个地方需要好好管管了。刚刚走了五公里才坐上车,我累得都说不出话来了。” —?Micah?H

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I?presume?the?five-mile?walk?is?related?to?thisreviewer's?frustration?with?Disneyland?employees.?And?I?understand?wanting?to?get?a?complaint?offyour?chest?immediately.?But?if?you're?going?towrite?a?one-star?review,?maybe?wait?until?you?can,?you?know,?actually?explain?your?concern?

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我认为五英里步行与这位朋友对迪士尼乐园员工的不满有关。虽然我理解你很想马上吐槽,但是,如果你真的想写一星评论,也许可以等到你有力气解释的时候?

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Too?Much?Fun

过于好玩

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"The?people?here?are?too?happy.?Why?doeseverything?have?to?be?so?fun??I?find?theambiance?to?be?too?magical.?I?thought?LordFarqua?put?an?end?to?these?fairytalefoovervilles?

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“这里的人高兴过头了。为什么这里的一切都让人如此快活呢?气氛实在太过神奇了。我还以为弗瓜王(《怪物史莱克》中的反派)在弗瓜国里就消灭了童话呢!

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Those?princesses?are?not?convincing.?Theirdresses?seemed?unsuitable?for?the?occasion.?Asif?they're...?overcompensating.?I?don't?mean?anydisrespect?if?they?are?genuine?royalty,?but?I?maybe?on?to?something.?After?all,?they?do?takeselfies?with?commoners.?But?so?do?theKardashians...?so?I'll?have?to?think?on?this?one.

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这些公主们的扮相并不能说服游客。因为她们的装扮与迪士尼乐园有点儿不太搭。似乎……太像真的了。绝非有意冒犯,因为如果她们是真正的皇室的话,我感觉自己的猜测可能是对的。不过他们还是会和普通人合影的,所以应该不是吧……但是卡戴珊一家也会和你合影的……所以我不得不考虑这个问题。

Anyway...?Peter?Pan?gave?me?no?peanut?butter.?Captain?Jack?shared?no?rum.?And?Elsa?made?meno?ice. #hoarders

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而且…… 彼得·潘不给我花生酱。杰克船长不分我朗姆酒。艾尔莎也不给我冰块。 #收集癖

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The?laughter?&?smiles?induced?left?the?cornersof?my?mouth?numb?&?my?belly?feelsuncomfortably?of?butterflies.

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我咧嘴笑得嘴角都麻了,感觉心里方方的。

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And?in?the?end,?the?guards?would?not?permit?meto?abide?in?the?sleeping?quarters?of?the?castle.?These?Micky?Mouse?ears?fooled?no?one." —?Jackson?C

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最后一点,保安不让我待在城堡的房间里。这些米奇老鼠的耳朵可糊弄不了任何人。” —?JacksonC

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This?guy?gets?it.

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这位也太优秀了。

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If?you're?going?to?complain?about?Disney,?do?it?ina?way?that?at?least?makes?people?laugh.?This?isso?filled?with?sarcasm?and?underhanded?almost-compliments?that?it?reads?like?something?pennedby?a?comedy?writer.

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如果你要吐槽迪士尼,至少用一种搞笑的方式说出来。这篇评论充满了讽刺,而且似贬实褒啊,读起来像是喜剧作家写的。

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Well?done,?sir.?I?tip?my?(Mickey?Mouse)?hat?toyou.

干得好,先生。我向你脱帽致敬(而且是米奇帽哦)。

是不是超级欢乐的?在评论区告诉大家,哪条把你逗笑啦?再把这份欢乐分享给你的朋友们吧!



翻译:宗晶晶(北语) 编辑:Guanwen

文章来源:farandwide

标签: 迪士尼 搞笑

#2
我辈,可享长生,我辈,永生孤独

没去过迪士尼,但看了评论后我可能以后都不会去了qwq

2019-05-11 16:48:47 来自Android客户端
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#1
hjc,otf测80

没有一条

2019-05-11 14:25:41 来自Android客户端
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