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飞机乘客搞笑集锦!哈哈哈哈哈哈哈嗝!

2019-03-17 10:35:23



乘飞机曾经被认为是一项光鲜亮丽的活动。不过如今,坐飞机往往和拥挤的座椅、鼾声如雷的邻座以及一小包可怜的陈花生划上了等号。

过去大家坐飞机都还恪守礼仪,现在有些旅客在客舱里光着脚丫子、摆出瑜伽姿势、剪指甲,不一而足,似乎基本的乘机礼仪都消失了。

我们在网上搜集到了这些飞机乘客离奇行为图片。善意地提醒你们,图中行为虽搞笑但不雅,请勿随意模仿!

Hair?Here,?Hair?There,?HairEverywhere

无处不在的头发

It's?perfectly?fine?if?you?have?long,?flowingtresses?of?hair?that?you?want?to?show?off?onan?airplane.?And?if?you?were?running?behindon?the?way?to?the?airport,?it?can?be?a?gooduse?of?time?to?let?your?hair?air-dry?on?theflight?before?arriving?to?your?final?destination.

如果你有一头秀丽的长发,想在飞机上炫耀,一点儿问题都没有。而且,如果你着急去机场的话,那么在到达目的地之前,可以很好地利用飞行的时间来晾干头发。

But?in?the?process?of?letting?your?hair?dry,?maybe?be?careful?not?to?throw?it?willy?nilly?allover?the?place.?And?especially?be?careful?thatit?doesn't?block?another?passenger'sentertainment?device.

不过,也许你自己需要上点儿心,在这个过程中不要让头发四处乱跑。特别需要注意的是,不要让它成为另一位乘客休闲大业面前的拦路虎。

Your?hair,?no?matter?how?beautiful?it?may?be,?is?way?less?interesting?than?the?onboardentertainment.

不管你的秀发多么美丽,都不会比机载电视更有意思的!

Seriously,?be?Hair-Ful

讲真,注意一下头发吧!

It's?actually?mind-boggling?how?many?peoplethink?it's?perfectly?okay?to?flop?their?hair?overanother?person's?seat.?As?previously?mentioned…just?no.

令人难以置信的是,很多人完全不认为把他们的头发搭在另一个人的座椅上是不合适的。再回头看第一条……好像真的没人在意这一点啊。

If?you're?worried?about?your?locks?losing?somevolume,?rest?assured?that?most?peopleunderstand?you've?been?flying,?and?don't?expectyou?to?come?walking?off?the?airplane?looking?likeyou've?walked?off?a?runway.

如果你担心发型散乱的话,请放心,大多数人都能理解你之前坐了飞机,不会认为你是从跑道上面下来的。

Luckily?for?this?passenger,?the?person?in?the?seatbehind?her?seemed?to?be?too?enthralled?in?a?goodbook?to?mind?the?hair?intrusion.

幸运的是,这位乘客身后座位上的人似乎看书看得入迷,不怎么介意她越界的头发。

Do?Not?Disturb

请勿打扰

There?is?absolutely?nothing?wrong?with?wantingto?catch?some?shut-eye?while?flying?(unless,?ofcourse,?you're?the?pilot?or?a?flight?attendant),?andthis?person's?genuine?dedication?to?making?surethe?world?around?her?is?blocked?out?is?downrightimpressive.

在飞行中闭目养神绝对没有任何问题(当然,除非你是飞行员或空姐),不过,这个小姐姐想方设法排除一切干扰的方式,真是令人印象深刻啊。

The?problem??If?she's?in?an?aisle?seat,?I?would?notwant?to?be?the?person?who?had?to?ask?her?tomove?in?order?to?use?the?restroom.?She?seemsway?too?comfortable?to?bother.

有什么问题吗?如果她坐在过道座位上,我可不想为了上厕所而让她起身。她似乎太舒服了,不敢打扰啊。

Pants?Required

这里急需裤子

While?some?people?wear?too?many?layers?on?anairplane,?others?don't?wear?enough.?Like?this?guy,?who?I?think?we?can?all?agree?is?definitely?notwearing?enough.

有些人在飞机上穿太多,而有些人穿得太少。对于图上的这家伙,我想我们都会同意,他绝对是穿太少了。

Now,?to?be?fair,?I?don't?know?the?whole?story?ofwhat's?going?on?here.?But?I?do?know?that?beforeyou?get?on?an?airplane,?there?are?plenty?ofbathrooms?available?that?provide?the?privacyneeded?to?get?changed?without?other?passengersseeing?(almost)?everything?you've?got.

?

说实话,我不知道这里到底发生了什么。但我知道,在登机之前,肯定有很多卫生间能给乘客提供单独换衣服的空间,没必要这样吧。

Peek-A-Boo,?I?Don't?Want?to?SeeYou

躲猫猫~我不想看见你

Listen,?it's?nice?that?this?guy?possesses?the?totalconfidence?needed?to?feel?comfortable?showingoff?his?goods.?But?to?reiterate:?a?plane?is?not?theright?setting?for?showing?off?your?goods.

听着,这家伙这么显摆自己的身材,勇气可嘉,很不错。但要重申的是:飞机可不是炫耀自己身材的好地方。

?

If?you?want?to?relax?while?letting?it?all?hang?out,?save?it?for?the?bedroom.?Please?and?thank?you.

如果您想放松身心,请在卧室内进行。谢谢,麻烦您了。

It's?in?the?Bag

在塑料袋里

There's?nothing?inherently?wrong?with?wearingthis?covering?—?it's?just?a?little?unnerving?for?therest?of?the?passengers?who?maybe?aren't?used?toseeing?someone?live?inside?what?looks?like?alarge?plastic?bag.

穿着这个套子其实没什么问题……只不过,其他的乘客可能会对此感觉有点不安。他们可能不太习惯看到巨大塑料袋子里面的人类……

Granted,?it's?possible?this?person?had?a?genuinesanitation?concern,?in?which?case:?no?judgementhere.

当然,也有可能是这个乘客真的有健康方面的问题,如果真是这样的话:不作任何评判。

Alternatively,?maybe?they'd?had?it?with?chattyseatmates,?and?wanted?to?set?some?clearboundaries.?In?which?case:?this?person?mightactually?be?a?genius.

或者,也许他/她是受够了健谈的邻座,并希望设置一些明确的界限。如果是这样的话:这位可能是个天才。

Ghosting


鬼来了

Don't?have?an?enormous?plastic?bag?handy??Consider?covering?your?entire?body?with?a?cozyblanket?instead.

手头没有巨大的塑料袋?可以考虑用软乎乎的毯子作为代替品来包裹住你的整个身体。

If?it's?around?Halloween?time,?you?can?pretendlike?you're?getting?into?character.?If?it's?any?othertime?of?year,?you?can?just?tell?people?that?youdon't?want?to?be?spoken?to?for?the?entire?flightbefore?making?your?retreat.?They?should?be?ableto?get?the?message.

如果是在万圣节的话,你还可以假装是在角色扮演。如果是在其他时间的话,你可以告诉别人,这样做是因为不希望在下飞机前和任何人讲话。他们应该能够明白你的意思。

One?word?of?caution,?though:?if?you're?sitting?inthat?dreaded?aisle?seat,?you'd?better?hope?thatyour?seatmates?don't?want?to?use?the?restroomduring?the?flight.?As?every?kid?can?attest?to,?there's?nothing?worse?than?having?your?blanketfort?destroyed.

不过,需要注意一点:如果你坐在那个可怕的过道座位,最好祈祷你的邻座不会在飞行过程中去厕所。每个熊孩子都可以证明,没有什么比毯子堡垒被摧毁更糟糕的事情了。

Didn't?Nail?It


美甲失败

Everyone?loves?a?good?manicure.?But?if?you?needto?get?your?nails?done,?perhaps?consider?doing?sobefore?or?after?your?flight?

所有人都喜欢美甲。但是,如果你想涂指甲油的话,也许可以考虑在上飞机之前或者之后这么做?

Chances?are,?the?passengers?on?this?planeweren't?too?pleased?about?having?to?sniff?polishwhile?stuck?in?a?confined?space?35,000?feet?in?theair.

在35000英尺之上密不透风的机舱里,乘客们可不会乐意闻到指甲油的味道。

But?we're?more?concerned?about?the?poor?nail-painter?herself.?What?if?turbulence?struck,?andshe?ended?up?with?a?botched?nail??The?horror!

但我们更担心的是那位乘客她自己。如果飞机遇到气流,岂不是会弄砸吗?太恐怖了!

That's?a?Stretch

机上伸懒腰

Ah?yes,?the?Great?Aisle?Stretch?Debate.?Sinceprobably?the?beginning?of?commercial?aviation,?people?have?been?arguing?over?whether?it'sappropriate?for?passengers?to?stretch?their?legsout?on?a?flight.

嗯,是的,又是这个“机上伸懒腰大辩论”。自从民航出现,人们一直对“乘客是否可以在飞机上伸展双腿”这一问题争论不休。

Some?argue?that,?so?long?as?no?flight?attendantsor?passengers?are?walking?by,?it's?perfectlyacceptable?to?enjoy?a?nice?stretch.?Others?arguethat?it's?the?height?of?rudeness.

有些人认为,只要没有空姐或乘客经过,这样做是完全可以接受的;而其他人则认为这是没有礼貌的表现。

Judging?by?social?media,?there?are?many?morepeople?in?the?latter?camp.

在社交媒体上,人们大多支持第二种观点。

I?say,?if?you're?not?directly?getting?in?anyone's?way,?go?for?it.?Just?know?that?somebody?might?take?apicture?and?complain?about?you?afterwardsonline.

我认为嘛,如果你不挡着任何人的路,那就伸叭。但是要知道,有人可能会拍照,并之后在网上对你指指点点。

Airplane?Pose


飞机姿势

In?some?yoga?studios,?there?actually?is?a?posecalled?“Airplane?Pose.”?The?literal?interpretation?—?actually?doing?yoga?poses?on?an?airplane?—?issomething?else?altogether.

在瑜伽中,有一个体式叫做“飞机式”。不过如果从字面意义上解释——真的在飞机上做瑜伽姿势——就完全是另一回事了。

The?biggest?issue?many?have?with?plane?yoga?isthe?possibility?of?body?parts?ending?up?wherethey?just?shouldn't?be.?In?this?case,?at?least?thepassenger?kept?her?shoes?on?and?stayed?prettyimpressively?in?her?own?space?—?but?sheprobably?had?to?encroach?on?her?neighbors’?personal?space?to?get?in?and?out?of?the?position.

在飞机上做瑜伽最大的问题是,人无法控制身体的位置。在这张图中,这位乘客至少还穿着鞋子,并且相当厉害的是,她没有离开自己的座位范围。但她很可能需要侵占邻座的个人空间才能伸展开腿脚。

Let's?all?agree?that,?while?it?might?feel?good?to?getthe?blood?flowing?in?a?yoga?pose,?an?airplane?isn'tthe?appropriate?place?to?do?so.

大家一致同意的是,虽然通过瑜伽来促进血液流动的感觉很好,但飞机上不是一个适合做瑜伽的地方。

The?only?acceptable?position??Seated?with?yourhands?folded?at?your?chest.?Namaste.

唯一可以接受的姿势?坐稳,合掌,放在胸前。这是合十礼。

The?Renegade?Shoe

离经叛道的鞋子

Dear?airlines:

We?understand?that?you?need?to?turn?a?profit,?andthat?shrinking?seat?sizes?to?pack?in?as?manypeople?as?people?is?a?good?way?to?boost?yourbottom?line.

But?when?you've?reduced?the?seat?sizes?so?much,?people's?feet?are?literally?on?top?of?one?another,?maybe?you've?taken?things?a?bit?too?far.

Please,?we?beg?of?you,?make?the?madness?stop.

Sincerely,

Everyone

亲爱的航空公司:

我们理解你们需要赚钱,缩减座位大小能容纳尽可能多的人,这个方式不错,财源滚滚呐。

但是,座位缩水也太严重了,人们都快踩到别人脚上了,也许你们有点过分了。

求你们了,停止这种疯狂的行径。

敬启,

所有乘客

Well,?That?Stinks


额,这也太臭了

Countless?frustrated?passengers?have?taken?tosocial?media?to?vent?about?people?who?take?theirshoes?off?on?flights.?And?who?could?blame?them??No?one?—?and?we?mean?no?one?—?wants?to?smella?stranger's?bare?feet?while?stuck?for?hours?on?aflight.

无数愤怒的乘客都在社交媒体上吐槽在飞机上脱鞋的人。谁能责怪他们呢?没有人。没有人想要在几个小时的密闭飞行中闻陌生人的臭脚。

The?passenger?in?this?photo?took?the?absurdity?tothe?next?level:?deciding?that?simply?slipping?offtheir?shoes?wasn't?enough,?they?slipped?off?theirshoes?and?placed?their?bare?feet?on?anotherpassenger's?arm?rest.

这张照片中的乘客就更加离谱了:只把鞋子脱下来还不够,他脱下鞋子,竟然还要把脚放在另一个乘客座位的扶手上。

I?second?the?gesture?made?by?the?poor?woman?inthe?seat?with?the?arm?rest.

我支持这位女士比划这个手势。

Unhappy?Feet


不开心的大脚

If?you're?at?home?watching?Netflix?and?relaxingwith?your?family,?by?all?means,?sprawl?out.?Befree.?You?do?you.

如果你在家里和家人在一起,看看电视剧,休闲放松,你想要怎么伸展都可以,毕竟是在自己家,怎么舒服怎么来!

But?on?an?airplane,?the?etiquette?rules?are?a?bitdifferent.

但在飞机上,有一套不同的礼仪规则。

If?there's?an?empty?seat?between?you?and?theclosest?stranger?next?to?you,?that?doesn'tautomatically?give?you?full?rights?to?take?over.?And?to?reiterate,?once?more?with?feeling:?theperson?sitting?next?to?you?has?zero?desire?to?lookat?and/or?smell?your?feet.

如果你和你旁边的人之间有一个空座,你并没有权利自作主张占有这个位置。再重申一遍,强调一下这种感受:坐在您旁边的人一点都不想看到和/或嗅到您的脚丫子。

Choosy?About?Sanitation


双标的洁癖患者

It's?no?secret?that?airplanes?aren't?the?cleanestplaces?on?earth.?So?there's?no?shame?in?takingsome?extra?precautions?to?make?sure?things?area?little?more?sanitary.

飞机不是地球上最干净的地方,这已经不是什么秘密了。因此,采取额外的预防措施以确保卫生,这没有什么好羞耻的。

Taking?the?time?to?wipe?over?your?tray?table?andarm?rests??Completely?acceptable.

花点时间来擦你座位上的小桌板和扶手?完全可以接受。

Taking?the?time?to?wipe?over?your?tray?table?andarm?rests?while?letting?your?bare?feet?stink?up?thejoint??Completely?unacceptable.?And?um,?hypocritical?much?

擦小桌板和扶手的同时光着脚?完全不能接受。还有,这样不是很虚伪吗?

Strangers?on?a?Plane


飞机上的陌生人

Airplane?travel?and?cross-country?time-zonechanges?can?wreak?havoc?on?your?sleep?cycle,?sowe?totally?understand:?sleepless?nights?happen.?And?they?especially?happen?when,?as?it?appearsfrom?this?picture,?you're?still?in?adolescence.

飞行和跨越时区可能会对你的睡眠周期造成严重破坏,所以我们完全能够理解失眠的发生。这种情况特别会发生在青春期,这张图就是个例子。

But?unless?you're?on?an?airline?with?a?fancysleeper?situation,?you?need?to?remain?aware?thatthe?people?around?you?aren't?pillows,?and?there?iszero?interest?in?hearing?you?snore?or?watchingyou?drool.

但是,除非你坐的是豪华卧铺的航班,你还是要有这样一个意识,那就是你旁边的人不是枕头,他们也不想听你打呼噜或者看你流口水。

We'll?cut?this?kid?a?break,?but?in?general,?the?ruleis?as?follows:?fellow?passengers?are?generallyunderstanding?and?patient.?Just?don't?push?it.

这次让我们放过这个孩子,但在一般情况下,同行的乘客一般都会给与理解和耐心。只是别太过分。

不管以哪种交通方式出行,在公共场合都要遵守礼仪规则呀~看了这篇文章,有没有想起什么类似的经历呢,在评论区和大家分享一下吧!

翻译:宗晶晶(北语) 编辑:Joanna

文章来源:farandwide

标签: 乘客 飞机 搞笑

#2
我辈,可享长生,我辈,永生孤独

没做过飞机的我一脸懵逼

2019-03-17 11:28:28 来自Android客户端
点赞 4

6

2019-03-18 20:41:00 来自Android客户端
点赞 0
#14
A group of degrading idiot .
回复2楼:

没做过飞机的我一脸懵逼


好像不对。。是坐飞机,不是做飞机

2019-03-18 14:14:07 来自Iphone客户端
点赞 0
#13
A group of degrading idiot .
回复2楼:

没做过飞机的我一脸懵逼


我只做过一次

2019-03-18 14:10:46 来自Iphone客户端
点赞 0

千姿百态

2019-03-18 11:58:19
点赞 0

什么姿势都有

2019-03-18 10:04:43
点赞 0

归根结底,以不影响他人、不给他人造成麻烦和困扰为标准。

2019-03-18 10:03:05
点赞 0
#9
鹰击长空 鱼翔浅底

辣眼睛

2019-03-18 09:39:31
点赞 0

不忍直视

2019-03-18 09:25:13
点赞 0

算见识了

2019-03-18 07:45:00
点赞 0
#6
鹰击长空 鱼翔浅底

毫无形象可言,哈哈

2019-03-18 06:24:00
点赞 0
#5
你叫,你叫,一顿乾坤圈打死你!

可怕

2019-03-17 22:21:22 来自Android客户端
点赞 0
笑死
2019-03-17 14:22:17 来自Iphone客户端
点赞 0
#3
经常动脑,防止老年痴呆症。

里面碰过。

2019-03-17 13:08:16 来自Android客户端
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#2
我辈,可享长生,我辈,永生孤独

没做过飞机的我一脸懵逼

2019-03-17 11:28:28 来自Android客户端
点赞 4
#1
对于我来说,写写作业就是休息了

⊙﹏⊙震惊

2019-03-17 11:05:38 来自Android客户端
点赞 0
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